I come from a family that believes intelligence is the ability to memorize and regurgitate facts. I have never been good at remembering facts or taking tests at school. Because of this, when speaking to family members, I don’t always have a lot of clout. Many years ago, I told my mom after spending time with my meditation teacher that I was learning how identity with one thing can lead to ignorance. She was taken aback and said identity makes us who we are. At the time, I didn’t have anything of real value to back up my statement, even though it made sense to me. Since then, I have seen that her belief about identity is quite common.
I would like to try to explain it a little more now that I have started to understand the statement at a deeper level. As a society, we are brought up to be identified with one thing or another. An example would be when we are at parties, gatherings, or even school, we are asked what our beliefs are, and if we don’t have any, we might be considered dull, boring, or even stupid.
Needless to say, we start forming an identity to distinguish ourselves from others. We begin to feel that our identity is who we are. Then we tell ourselves this is who I am. But I want to look at identity as something that actually holds us back from experiencing ourselves. I think it is important in these times to look at this and start paying attention to how our brain functions. I am using this example because it hit me the other day while sitting in my car during a traffic jam. The person in front of me had a bumper sticker expressing her views about abortion. I have decided not to write about what the bumper sticker said. Let's just say she was identified with a belief. This person was brought up in a family and society with strong convictions of one sort or another. Over time, she decided what was acceptable to her and what was not. I am creating a hypothetical person, of course, but let’s say she took on her parent’s belief without questioning because it sounded reasonable. She began to define herself through her convictions and beliefs. Over time, her childhood innocence in the unknown faded as she found her ground in what she felt was right and wrong.
The belief began running the show. It started to filter into the eyes as they looked out of them, and it began to filter through the mouth as they spoke to others. Then, to feel vindicated, it searched for others to whom the identity could relate. It never wanted to be questioned; to question it was almost painful because it was now so ingrained into her existence. Without it, who would she be? How could she function?
The belief then morphed into something unknown even to her. Then you have an abortion bumper sticker that represents a view that aligns with her core value of right and wrong. The inner conviction has nothing to do with the bumper sticker. Let’s look at the statement outside of the identity if possible. It stands alone without that person; in other words, it is separate from her. If the person were not there, would the statement have as much meaning? Would it cause so much conviction or anger? Can we see it as a statement outside the person or group consciousness? It could be for abortion or against it, it doesn’t matter because its energy comes from the identity alone.
They say seeing is believing, but when a person’s perception is clouded by their notions, can they really believe what they see? My meditation teacher used to take a salt shaker and ask, “why can’t you just see that you are this salt shaker”? I feel what I’m talking about is directly related to this question. The salt shaker exists outside of us, but we perceive it through our tunnel of perception. Once we see the salt shaker outside these identities, we begin to truly “see” the object. I feel that once we start observing outside thoughts and feelings, we begin the journey of seeing all that is in all.
There are three things that happen. You have the person preceiving the salt shaker, then there is the salt shaker, then there is the identity funnel of the salt shaker. They are all taking place at the same time. Just like the bumper sticker, the salt shaker stands alone.
Many of my blogs have been about this subject, but I have expressed it differently. I believe it is a key to the prison of our minds. I glimpse it and want to somehow express the experience. My words fall short, but I am determined to keep trying. I am a student learning through insight and then connecting the dots of my teacher's words as best as possible.
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