The Beauty of Being Human

The human experience is full of life. The pain of love, when unreturned, and the fear that keeps us locked away from others. The heartache of watching others suffer is all part of the push into life. It’s the dark nights when we finally rest because we sense love in the room. Our bodies finally let go, and we fall asleep. When everyone is mad at you, and you feel misunderstood and unloved, you have a moment of joy and wonder how you can be happy while in such pain. The internal conflict of not knowing what road to take, and the bad decisions you made that cost you plenty. You look out the window, and you realize you are finally living.

I remember when my husband and I were trying to adopt, we had a failed adoption. I felt like the bad guy for wanting a child that wasn’t mine. I remember when she came to the door, picked up the baby, she looked at me, and said, “I don’t want any trouble”. I found the courage to say, "He is your baby”. She let out a huge sigh of relief and glided away with love in her arms. When she left, my heart ached for something that would never be mine, but at the same time, I thought to myself, so this is what it's like to be a part of the living.

I am realizing we can’t hide from the anguish of life; it is part of the rhythm and the beauty. There is so much darkness these days. It is hard to feel happy, and when we do, we might question our happiness. How can we be happy when others are struggling? But sometimes the darkness brings us closer to that which we seek. At some point, we have to let go and realize we really don’t have the steering wheel. But the potential of what we do have is much greater.